How I am Designing My Life
I’ll be the first one to admit it. I’m a mess. I’ve been a mess for quite a while. Maybe years. While I was in college, I blamed my mess of a life on that. I didn’t have time to work out because I had class or work from 8-5 and then had to go right into studying or homework (this is not a real excuse, but this is what I told myself everyday). I didn’t stick to my goals because of said lack of time. But, as we all know, that’s bullshit. I didn’t want to work out. I didn’t want to stick to my goals in the way that I did when I so carefully laid them out. I didn’t want to get my wisdom teeth out and I avoided it like the plague. Yes, getting my wisdom teeth out was one of my goals for 2018. They’ve been bothering me for years, but I am terrified to do it. So I didn’t.
Setting and keeping goals is difficult business. Around this time of year, every year, I get so excited to plan my goals, think about next steps, think about the future, and then life gets in the way. Last year I felt like I was on track but in February we unexpectedly had to move within a couple of weeks. Having a couple of weeks with a house full of boxes both before and after the move was not conducive to working on myself or my goals. So I spent a couple of months trying to catch up with school work and dreaming of graduation. I randomly bought a FitBit in the month of April and it helped me lose around 5-8 pounds by just being able to see the data of what I was eating and how I was moving my body.
Then I graduated. I didn’t think it was going to be as big of a change as it really was. I had been working at the same architecture firm for a year and I was already in charge of my own projects so I really didn’t think it was going to be that different. It was. And it is. Over the next few months, I was so tired. I got home at 5pm or later and I don’t want to do anything. My house was in shambles, I wasn’t showering for days (gross I know but this also has to do with depression and anxiety that I’m dealing with), I was lashing out at Kayla, and I was unhappy all of the time.
Then, I got sick in a Mexican restaurant on my birthday….with a table full of coworkers waiting for me. I thought this was a one-off thing. It wasn’t. I felt nauseous all of the time. I was actually getting physically sick at a regular clip and I haven’t gotten sick in years prior. I wasn’t sleeping. I had basically moved onto the couch at night to not disturb Kayla when I was tossing or turning, and also because the couch was closer to the bathroom. Fast forward a couple of weeks, I couldn’t take it anymore so I went to the doctor. Turns out I had the stomach flu for three weeks. Well, the nausea didn’t go away. I was more anxious than ever and I knew I was making it worse on myself.
I had a huge, difficult deadline coming up at work in the beginning of December. I wasn’t even sort of done with the project, it was incredibly technical and definitely something I needed more expertise to get done completely on my own. I was working 60 hour weeks. On the last week before the deadline, I worked 12 days in a row. Yep, Saturday and Sunday I worked full days. It was awful. I felt like I had no life outside of work. I would come home and crash because I didn’t have any brain space left to do anything else. And props to Kayla, she was there for me the whole time and I honestly didn’t deserve it.
Now, I’m a month behind that crazy deadline for that project. I feel like I’m able to breathe and have a life outside of work. So, this is when I started designing my life. I watched a ton of inspiring YouTube videos and took notes. I did a lot of reflection and got back into yoga and meditation to help physically and mentally remove me from the day. I have my goals planned and my planner is filled with to-dos and important dates to remember for the year.
I will stop trying to catch you up on my messy life. I know I haven’t blogged in years. Literally years. It was one of my goals in 2018 to get back to it. I just couldn’t. I couldn't manage it. I felt like a fraud trying to tell people how to design my life when I could barely shower. Below are the things that I did and am still doing to keep myself and my life on track. January is a great time to get a fresh start, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t start any of these things at any point in time.
1. Life Admin Day(s). Okay, I can’t take credit for this term so definitely check out MuchelleB on YouTube. She’s a portion of why I am on a better track right now. There were SO many things that I have completely put out of my head to make space for all of the big girl things I was doing, handling, and accomplishing at work. I need to go to the doctor for a checkup and change up my medicine. I need to go to the dentist for a checkup and talk about my wisdom teeth. During a life admin day (or hour or week), make those appointments that are in the back of your mind. Do those stupid to-dos that you are dreading. Those little things are taking up brain space so get them out! For me, I needed to put air in my tires, schedule those appointments, schedule my cat’s checkup, wash my car, and so many other small things that take almost no time to do, but they add up.
2. Sticking to a routine. I am a big fan of routines. In my Google Keep I have literally 10-15 routines I like to keep on sticky notes to remind myself what I would like to do on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. One thing that has been super beneficial to me when I am trying to get in better shape and just be all around healthier, is setting and keeping a workout routine. I know, you’re probably like “uh, duh, Ally. This isn’t a new tip”. I get it. I’ve heard it so many times and I always would try to plan my workouts for the week in my planner, just picking what I wanted to do on the spot, or just write a generic “workout” to-do in my planner. But, with my little Type A-Anxious-As-All-Get-Out brain, that was NOT cutting it. SO, I made my routine as follows:
Monday: Legs
Tuesday: Upper body and Cardio (to me this is walking for now)
Wednesday: HIIT (high intensity interval training)
Thursday: Legs and Abs
Friday: Rest and/or Yoga
Saturday: Yoga/Walk Koda
Sunday: Yoga/Walk Koda
It’s one thing to say that I’m going to do this routine, but it’s another to actually implement it. I can imagine it would get a little boring doing the same thing week after week. But, this is what I needed to do to get me started. Each week the workouts are different but I do the same body part on the same day of the week. It takes the guessing out of everything. For instance, on Sunday nights, I will pick out the “leg” Youtube video or workout on the “Go” app (it’s free!) I want to do the next day. Then, I keep it up on my computer so when I get home, all I will have to do is open it up and press play. Another thing that has helped me is starting my workout as soon as I get home for work. If I sit down for even a second, chances are I will not get up to work out. This can be implemented for any type of routine that you want to stick to. Make a schedule, pick a time, and set everything up so that when it’s time you don’t have to think about anything.
3. Planning. I used to be a color code fanatic when I was in school. At any point in time I had 6 classes, 1-2 jobs, a fiance who was in school and working, a dog, and a cat. Everything had its own color. This worked really well for me while I was in school, but it’s not that necessary for me right now. I do color code my projects for work, but that doesn’t usually get implemented into my planner. I always feel so much better when I have planned out my days, weeks, and months. Making sure all of the important things are in your planner is the first step, but to really make sure you’re getting the best use out of your planner, put in things that will help you achieve your goals. Whether it’s a workout, writing a chapter for your novel, or studying for the GRE. Write down dates in your calendar that you want to work towards for your goals, such as having 10 chapters done by June.
4. Clear Goal Setting. I will have a post next week about my 2019 goals and how I break them out. But, I wanted to include it here too. It’s important to make sure that you are pretty specific when it comes to setting goals. For instance, I’m focusing on my health in 2019, but there are many aspects of working on my health that I want to make sure I’m focusing on. Losing weight, working on my diet, and mental health. For each main category (health, personal, work, relationship, moral) you can have subcategories, like I did for health so that you’re really pinpointing what exactly you want to focus on for the year ahead.
5. Make time for the Things that I Love. When I was really in the thick of work over the last couple of months I barely read, I didn’t workout or do yoga, and I didn’t spend any time with friends. I wish I would have made time for those things because I know that doing the things that I love would have really taken my mind off of the craziness at work. Focus on the things that you love and I promise you will feel better when you lay your head down at night.
6. Watch or Read Content from People that Inspire Me. I have been gravitating towards content and people that put out inspiring messages. I love people who are real and honest with where they are and how they’re accomplishing their goals. While I don’t take what everyone says word for word, I do think having the opportunity to get a lot of different perspectives is important. With that, you can pick and choose the things that you think will work in your life. I’m not a naturally positive person. I’m actually very pessimistic but I really want to change that. So people like Sam Ozkural have been really helpful, just hearing her “HELLO EVERYONE” can put me in a more positive mood!
This by no means is saying that I have my shit together. Quite the contrary. I am still a mess and I always will be a mess. BUT this is how I’m designing my life. This is how I’m working towards my goals. This is how I’m managing, but not curing, my anxiety and depression. Everyday is different and plans constantly change. How I’m designing my life right now is not necessarily going to be how I will continue in a year or five years. Start now and you won’t regret it.
Let me know in the comments how you deal with trying times and how to get back on track with your goals.
YouTubers that Helped Me:
